Random musings

One of my biggest fears as a parent is making mistakes. I fear that my mistakes will make me a failure as a parent. I fear that Daniel will face the consequences of my bad choices. I fear that he will pick up on my insecurities, and adopt them. He is barely 17 months old, and I'm already addressing doubts in my mind as in "what if, such and such happens or what if I had done something differently". I look at the world around me, and sometimes shudder at how all of that would affect his spirit and soul. Our prayer for him is that, he should be a pillar of truth and integrity. That, he should cling to God, no matter what the situation or circumstance. Most importantly, our prayer is that he should know God at a young age. As far as my abilities as a parent, I can already see so much about me that needs to change, before I can even influence him in any positive way. I hope that I'll have the honesty to admit my failures, and still encourage him to not make the same mista...

Every once in a while, I think about the past. Moments of quiet desperation leading to months and years with no answers. I remember all too clearly where I came from. I do not doubt the presence of a creator. Not with everything we have been through. I believe in the power of the One who has to break and change me. I believe in the heart of the One who weeps for us, and delivers us when we are downcast and defeated. I found these lines, i had scribbled in a notebook years ago. It brings back memories. I carry my song with a heavy heart, A tale of two strangers who would never part. Promises of spending a lifetime together, A lifetime of hopes and dreams built forever. Drag myself out of my stupor, Tell myself to hope in vain, How long can I? Wake up each day to unanswered prayers, Weep, still not complete. I tell myself to perfect my smile, Stare back at the world through glazed brown eyes. Wake up and it's the same old day, Maybe tommorrow the bird will sing a different song. Some...