My Papa is the kind of man who is

-

Solid, dependable, kind, generous, authentic and honest. He's not someone to overtly express affection or give hugs or kisses or say 'I love you'. Yet, he made me feel special and important, without being expressive. 

I haven't heard him complain, even when times were tough. It broke our heart when we finally saw him break down when Mummy died. It's easy to take for granted a parent who is alive, especially when the one who is gone is missed so much. But, our papa is here. And, we need to cherish and love him, for as long as possible. This is the reality my sister and I need to be aware of.

I didn't learn of God from Papa. In fact, he was agnostic for most of his life. He would sing Christian songs with Mummy,  and attend church on a few special occasions  Mummy held on to her faith for as long as she lived. But, with Papa, he was a skeptic. I saw him pick up a bible and read it, looking for answers, after mummy died. And he read it quickly, in 8 months or so. Enough to grasp what it said, to believe in a creator and accept the divinity of Christ. Thank God for that, I pray that he continues to grow in faith.

What I remember most about Papa, is him waking up at 4:30 in the morning to make me coffee so that I could study. He couldn't sleep after that, but he did it anyway because that was the only time I chose to study. 

Papa got his doctorate when working full-time  yet he never made me feel small or stupid when I didn't do well in school. He didn't compare my sister and I, though my sister did exceptionally well in school. He trusted me to make my own decisions. He would be okay with me going for discos and what not (something, that my hubby finds very difficult to believe :)) He only asked that we speak the truth, and not keep anything from him. The most important thing he taught me was that it is okay to fail, but it is never okay to stop trying. He reminded me of this, every time I came home with a bad report card.
You can do better. I know it. It will happen next time.

Papa is real. We see him for all his flaws. He doesn't make excuses for it. When he remarried soon after mummy passed away, most people assumed he didn't love his wife and forgot about her too soon. But, we know that the opposite of it was true. He was too heartbroken to function. He loved her deeply. Thank God for the provision of finding him a companion. 

Thank God for the blessing of parents. May their tribe grow and increase.

Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a Dad.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Generosity

-
Ever met a stingy person? Not in terms of gift giving or spending, but people who are stingy with affection, or stingy with acknowledging the good in someone else? Chances are, we don't like such a person. Chances are, we are that person (Maybe, not to everyone but to someone). I have been thinking about how one of my main triggers for the past year has been ingratitude. Like when you do things for someone, but they either blow it off or don't value it. When they find things to complain about and never have a good word to say.  When we are around generous people, it lifts us up. They raise us to be better versions of ourselves. I recently read a quote which stuck with me, "If you don't like what you are reaping, consider what you are sowing" . If we don't invest in something, whether a person, a task or a relationship, it dies a natural death. That is just the way it is. Generous people don't rely on the reciprocity of their actions to be generous. In most...
Read more

The paradox of Forgiveness

-
  “We see life as unfair and ourselves as its victims. We focus on the offenses others have done against us. And we fail to realize all these offenses pale in comparison to our own offenses against God, who not only forgives us, but both requires and enables us to forgive others and move forward free from the past. We should forgive as God forgave us, not once but many times.” This is the heart of God's forgiveness message. I wonder sometimes, what this means for victims. For people who are at the receiving end of others' sins. People dealing with years of trauma, abuse, neglect or betrayal. We all sin and fall short in many different ways, but forgiveness is more complex than that. The offenses that are done against us are wrong, simply because they are like our own offenses — wrong because they are done against God. To imply that our pain is not real or valid because we ourselves have done wrong, would be to negate the entire human race and the wrongs we inflict on each other...
Read more

Baby soft skin

-
Lately, I have been thinking that people have been in our lives for a reason , season or a lifetime . Typically, most folks fall in the first two categories. The " lifetime " people are maybe family and a few people here and there.  When Dev taught Sunday school, many of those kids were a huge part of our lives. Dev was heavily invested in them and cared for them, way more than a typical teacher. Gradually, he drifted away from what he used to do and these kids grew up and became adults and moved on with their lives.  Someone once told us that when you invest in these Sunday School kids, they will grow up and be there for your kids. I think this is mostly untrue. These young adults barely even know that my kids exist, let alone being involved in their lives.  Also, this is an unfair burden and expectation to place on them. Firstly, they are trying to figure out their own lives. They don't really have the headspace or inclination to be involved in someone else's kids...
Read more