The point of conversion

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I do not remember the point of my conversion - as in the exact time or place when I accepted God. It wasn't a lightning bulb moment. 

I would often hear people talk about how God was working in their lives or how they heard God speak to them. I felt no such thing. when I started praying, most of my prayers would be about wanting God to speak to me and wanting to feel His presence. 

God seemed distant and indifferent. In my mind, I thought that if God is true, He loved certain people more than the others. He spoke to these special people more. He made His presence felt in their lives. He gave them more blessings. Almost, like a class teacher who has a bunch of favorite students and overlooks the rest. Few students make the cut, the others don't.

I admit that I wouldn't feel the need for God, if things were going perfectly. I started seeking God when problems were staring me right in the face, where I was helpless to the point of desperation. I guess this is true for many of us.

In an attempt to understand Him more, I would try reading the Bible. The verses did not jump out with new meaning or purpose. 

Over the years, a few things changed. I was introduced to a women's bible study fellowship called BSF, where they actually taught the Bible. They approached God in a way where things started to click, and that was when the pieces of the puzzle started to slowly make sense. 

I find it surprising when people say that you can worship God anywhere. They say that if the heart is in the right place, what the preacher says or the type of worship doesn't matter. 

I guess that would be true for a mature believer. But, for the rest of us, that simply does not work. We are still trying to learn, understand or grasp things. If we are not moving forward or being taught, it is like quenching or dulling the spirit of God, to a point where God actually becomes non-existent and imaginary. I think that is what happened to me.

Today, I stand converted. Away from the old baggage that people call religion, but trusting enough to enter a relationship. To call Him - my God, my Father.

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