Those friends I did not like ..

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I don't know why I think of those friends now. It's been years since they left the state. 

Even when they were here and I found a way to get along with them, I still maintained my distance. 

Both these men were my husband's college buddies. I met them for the first time, after I was married, about 12 years ago. They were both unmarried at that time, had done their masters in the US and worked for hi-tech companies. One of them, especially was very rude.

I still remember the first few visits with him. The first time, he said something like "girls from India just want to get married to men in the US". 
It was like someone just knocked the wind off my sails. I worked in the US before I was married. I certainly didn't need to get married to be in America. If anything, I had given up on my business visa and transferred to a dependent H-4 visa, to be with my husband, instead of working in different states.

Then, he said things like "It doesn't seem like you have any outdoor interests. Do you play sports?. Most females from India don't". And, then he reminded me that when I go for job interviews, they will ask me about my hobbies, and things like reading, music or whatever doesn't sound impressive to them. He had a derogatory opinion about "arranged marriages" and "how Indian women were not as smart as American women" and what not. In short, he was a royal pain.

These men were very good at sports. They skied, hiked, biked, ran marathons, and were very outdoorsy. They had an appreciation for the rugged, natural, scenic Colorado mountains.

Though, they would be referred to as "FOBS", they did things that I haven't seen that many people born and raised in America do. 

Today, I begrudgingly admit, that these men, though might have been annoying in what they said - stepped out of their comfort zone. They risked doing new things at the expense of making fools of themselves. They did not have the advantage that people born in America had, because they had to learn what they knew, through trial and error as grown-up men. They knew how to make the most of the opportunities available to them. 

I think I was bothered by what they said, because of my own insecurities. In their silly, childish ways, they were perhaps, wanting me to try new things as well.

While I still do not agree with the crude attitude, I will say this much - Today, I have a greater appreciation for people like these. 

"We ask ourselves, - 'who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'
Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God: Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around us. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson 

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