Apology accepted

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Daniel has been taking piano lessons for the past year. The other day, we were running late as usual. After all the rushing about trying to get there on time, we managed to make it.

As I was sitting outside waiting for Daniel to get done with his lesson, a lady walked by me and said, "I'm sorry but we had a parent teacher conference with the piano teacher and we took an extra 3 minutes." The reason she was apologizing was because they took time from what was supposed to be part of Daniel's piano lesson. I told her that it was totally fine. Before she walked away, she told me, "Next time, try to be 5 minutes early."

I was somewhat taken aback that her apology sounded more like a reprimand rather than an apology.  It wasn’t a big deal that they took 3 minutes of our time. It would have been better on her part to not say anything rather than a feeble apology.

This got me thinking about apologies, and how it is so hard to apologize.

Sometimes, we apologize and then justify it with reasons as to why something happened. Sometimes, we turn the apology into the other person's fault. Sometimes, we would rather do something to rectify it than say the actual words. Sometimes, we say it but without really meaning it. It is refreshing to get an apology that is actually an apology.

How often do I apologize to the kids but then proceed to lecture them about something irrelevant, and how would I expect them to understand anything about apologies when I'm not sincere about them?

Saying “I’m sorry” can be two of the hardest words to say. But, they are an essential part of rebuilding and strengthening relationships.

It is difficult to admit that we are wrong. It takes a great deal of humility to go to another person and make ourselves vulnerable by asking for forgiveness. I must ask myself - Am I humble enough to admit my mistakes? Am I humble enough to make myself vulnerable to another person? An apology is considered a sign of weakness, when in reality it's the opposite of weakness. It takes strength and maturity to apologize.

The genuine apology is not simply saying that, “I’m sorry that you are upset.” A statement like that doesn’t take personal responsibility. Instead, we might say, “I am sorry that my words hurt you.” This puts the action we are apologizing for clearly in our court.

I wonder why we have the need to always be right. I think God is more than willing to give us enough life experiences to show us that we don't know much about anything and learning to apologize and see our flaws is an important part of our human existence.


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