Unchanging

Change is a good thing. Especially, when change involves aspects of life, personality or habits that need to change.

When there is no change, a person becomes stagnant. It's like doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That is the very definition of insanity. 

Unfortunately, change does not come easy. The more spiritual a person is, the more difficult it is for them to accept that there might be something wrong with their way of thinking and behavior. 

This person might be the most humble person or someone who doesn't view themselves highly. Even for such a person, it is extremely rare to be open to receiving negative feedback or criticism from someone else.

Maybe, at an intrinsic level, we don't view ourselves as bad people. Maybe, we are too insecure to readily accept blame. Maybe, our self esteem is so fragile, that any little thing shakes it. Maybe, we live our lives being very sensitive to how we are perceived. Maybe, others opinions mean more to us than we care to admit.

I know that I certainly cannot accept criticism of any sort. God forbid that someone were to find fault with something I did or said, I would rather completely deny that such a thing ever happened. Or, I would try and correct my behavior without ever offering the other person an apology or admitting that I was wrong. 

The more I look at people - in Christian circles, with those of us who maintain an illusion of living perfect lives, I see this problem manifesting itself in a deep, ugly way. 

We tear down people with slander and gossip behind their back but don't even bat an eyelid while smiling at their face. 

We assume malicious intent when there is none. 

We don't give others the grace that we ourselves so desperately need. 

Many a times, we would rather talk about someone else's sin or issues, not because we don't have any of our own - but because it boosts our fragile sense of self.

We form our little groups and cliques. Sometimes, these groups are family members or friends. Many a times, we exclude people who should have been included. This is neither biblical nor is it an ideal representation of what a close knit community or church should have been.

None of these are ‘big’ enough sins for anyone to think twice about doing it but they have a big impact.

In the Bible, David is called a man after God's own heart. David was a good king and had a good heart. But, he was not free from wrongdoing by any stretch of imagination. 

He had a way of manipulating people and situations to his advantage. He took someone else's wife as his own and also got her innocent husband killed. 

2 Samuel 12 The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.

“Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”

David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.

Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master’s house to you. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’

Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”

Here, one can see Nathan confronting David in an almost abrupt, harsh yet truthful way. David rather than taking offense or denying what he had done - accepted responsibility and grieved about the sin that broke God's heart.

I think what set David apart was not his right doing but his complete dependence on God and also his repentant heart. 

It takes a man of great courage to do that. No petty excuses. No thinking, 'I'm better than that'. No passing the blame. No denying. 

I honestly don't think I have met anyone who would be that open to accepting negative feedback from someone else. Not only did he accept, he also repented. This is an indication of a man who understands the benevolence and sovereignty of God. He understands that there is a God and this God can see through all our pretension and games. David comes clean in a way that someone would, when confronted with truth from the ultimate authority. 

How different our lives would be if we could adopt that kind of attitude. We would have the potential to change the world, starting with our little corner; with the people that God has placed around us. 

The repentant heart is the work of the Holy Spirit and is a thing of great wonder.