Farewell 2020

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We are reaching the end of this weird and eventful year. The tree is up, decorations are out but the festive cheer is absent. 2020 has been a trial for many of us. Some of us have lost loved ones, spent days in the hospital, relationships have fallen apart - friends, loved ones have suffered.  

We spent the first part of this year planning our big vacation after 4 years of waiting to visit India. I thought we would visit Papa and spend time in Singapore as well. Instead, all our plans were disrupted and we had to cancel our trip. Papa had very little help during the pandemic. He managed his day to day activities, without the luxury of having his kids nearby, or the option to stay at home and be safe. By God's grace, he stays resilient.

We saw this kind of resilience all through the lockdowns and social distancing. Doctors, nurses, healthcare, postal, transportation, sanitation, grocery, essential workers. Many of these workers did their jobs with grace and fortitude. 

We watched in amazement as schools and teachers re-invented themselves, learning technology and tools that were alien to many of them. We watched as the kids and older folks were isolated yet they adapted to this new normal.

Technology firms, Engineers came up with innovative solutions to complex problems bridging gaps and lack of communication caused by social distancing, providing tools and resources to serve others and simplify their lives.

We juggled our way through our schedules - managing work, home, kids, school and adding a puppy to our already chaotic schedule.

Many things have slipped by the wayside for me - whether it was reading the Bible (which I didn't do as a chore but more as a source of rest and centering my thoughts). I rarely find time to read the Bible these days. My prayers have become sporadic. I miss not being able to go to Flatirons church by myself or with my  kids. 

I also feel the weight of mental instability that comes from not prioritizing things that are important. My mind has been in this funky state for quite a while now and I attribute it to not prioritizing my spiritual life. 

Maybe, this is different for different people. We can never put God in a box. People experience God and mental peace in different ways. But, we must spend time finding out, what those things are and then prioritize those things. If we don't, life becomes this monotonous humdrum of meaningless activity.

This year has been marked with a mixture of tears and smiles, elation and disappointment. I'm so grateful to have the option of spending time with the kids and family at home. I'm grateful that my employer lets me balance work and home. 

I'm grateful that while people are surprised that I haven't lost my job, I was still able to do my work to the best of my ability and receive an 'exceeds expectations' rating from my employer. This hasn't happened that many times for me, in my past jobs. God knows that I needed the encouragement, because I certainly cannot manufacture that self confidence for myself.

As we look at what it is to come in the future with hope, with caution and optimism - May the coming year be filled with reminders of God's goodness and grace.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 43:5 

We can “cast our care upon him”, “let our requests be made known unto God”, and accept His “peace that passes all understanding”. Knowing that we have a loving heavenly Father who desires to care for us and provide for us, should give every child of God a reason for true optimism.

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