Random musings

To say that 2020 has been crazy is an understatement. It started off with a virus that brought the world to a standstill.  For all our human intelligence and science and medicine or vaccines or whatever else we have to offer -  we stood powerless when confronted with something unknown and of this magnitude. The best we could do was to stay home and wait for this thing to pass, while the scientists and world leaders try and figure this out. When the vision is 20-20, one can see clearly. I wonder if the year 2020 also means that we should start seeing more clearly or at least try. As if the virus wasn't enough, the disregard for human life and dignity whether this is based on race or color of skin or country of origin or legal status.  People treated poorly, their voices unheard, their issues pushed aside as insignificant. We are now aware of this, because information is freely available, via technology (though many do not see value in technology). An avera...

Change is a good thing. Especially, when change involves aspects of life, personality or habits that need to change. When there is no change, a person becomes stagnant. It's like doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That is the very definition of insanity.  Unfortunately, change does not come easy. The more spiritual a person is, the more difficult it is for them to accept that there might be something wrong with their way of thinking and behavior.  This person might be the most humble person or someone who doesn't view themselves highly. Even for such a person, it is extremely rare to be open to receiving negative feedback or criticism from someone else. Maybe, at an intrinsic level, we don't view ourselves as bad people.  Maybe, we are too insecure to readily accept blame.  Maybe, our self esteem is so fragile, that any little thing shakes it.  M aybe, we live our lives being very sensitive to how we are perce...

When I moved from India to America, I noticed an abundance of churches. I assumed that it was a good thing because that meant there was a better opportunity to learn from the wisdom of preachers and to be around people who might possibly share similar views. There is something about being at church that feels like home. I enjoy going to church by myself. It’s peaceful to be able to sit quietly in a church where you don’t know anyone - to not feel the need to do this and that, or say unnecessary things or fill social expectations.   I went to a Catholic school in India and would often visit their church. I would also go to a different church close to where I worked in India . It is a very normal thing for me to go to many churches and I don’t find anything odd or weird about it.  I attend two churches here as well. I did not expect it to draw attention but it does.  Flatirons church, the loud, obnoxious church is a topic of much discu...

There is a lot to be grateful about as I'm slowly easing back to getting used to the workplace, learning and being productive. It's not easy going back to work after a 10 year break.  I wish that I could take credit for how well I managed everything. But, in reality, the whole process has been purely God's grace. Right from the job interview, to the work, to transitioning the kids and managing schedules. I do not have my skill set to rely on, because I'm rusty. Maybe, it's better this way.  For when I'm weak, then He is strong. There is comfort in knowing that God is in control and if He can bring me thus far, He is fully capable of guiding me through the rest of the way. I wonder sometimes, if one can truly succeed without being competitive. I see it all around me - the kids and their school, the sport related activities, work, home, friends and colleagues. Can one truly succeed by just going with the flow?  Do you not know that in a race all t...

We remember Mummy frequently and fondly. It seems like she passed away too soon at the age of 59. But, we are grateful for the time we had with her. The happy memories. Each and every one of them. We celebrated Daniel's 10th birthday recently. We were also reminded that it's been 10 years since Mummy passed away. Yet, the memories we have of her are vibrant. She was truly an unforgettable person, in every sense of the word.  Sometimes, Naomi and Daniel talk about how they have never seen their grandma, and my heart breaks a little bit. I know that she would have adored them.  I remember her as a grandma when my niece was born. My niece was the only one out of all her grand-kids who could actually spend some time with her. Mummy was never a typical " know-it-all " kind of person. She hardly ever dished out advice, though I'm sure that if she did, her advice would have been good. It wasn't even as if she was holding her tongue, or being disapproving...

Every now and then, I hear sermons where there is this great big divide between law and grace. The " grace people " are sometimes viewed as "wishy-washy". As if to say, if you rely too much on grace, you are also saying that you have a license to sin. " Grace people " are also viewed as people who throw the forgiveness card around, because they believe their sins are forgiven, so they think that they can do what they want and get away with it. So, in all such kind of sermons, one is reminded to follow the requirements of the law,  and from  God. You must obey, be moral and be good Christians.  I'm baffled by this kind of thinking. If someone truly has an understanding of grace, they also understand the magnitude of sin, specifically their OWN sin, not someone else's sin. If one does not understand their own sin, one also does not understand grace. They understand some version of God's love and forgiveness but not the extent to why someone...

One would only need to spend a few years at any church to see the word " service " being used. Christian service is something that almost every Christian preacher talks about. Not only the preacher, even the people at church remind each other to serve. I must admit that I get annoyed by the " call for service " emails and reminders that we receive from church. Many a times, they are sent with Bible verses as if to remind people, " See. You must serve. God expects you to do it ".  There's nothing wrong with service. In fact, it is one of the most tangible ways to see love, empathy and compassion in action. Without service, our lives tend to become insular. We and our kids grow up with this notion that the world revolves around us. It is equally true that if the church doesn't find enough people to serve, the few people who do serve get worn out or become self-righteous or both. The church then dies this slow death because no one seems to ca...