I'm a woman ..

It is not uncommon for women to have a a chip on their shoulder. The "chip" is about how women are treated unfairly and don't have the same rights as men.

In the Indian community, women are reduced to roles that seem subservient, like sit at home and make hot rotis for her husband, take care of the kids and cater to the in-laws. The man, is the patriarch who runs the household, and seems like a grown up spoilt kid. These views are further cemented when one watches Bollywood movies where the traditional, conservative woman gets the man while the modern, working, independent woman is termed loose and frivolous.

So, we have the other group of women - also called feminists, who tell women that the old fashioned view is regressive. That, women have been given the short end of the stick. That, they should be working outside the house and fending for themselves. That, men should do what women typically do like cook, clean, care for the kids etc. In short, for a woman to be progressive, she has to start acting and thinking like a man.

We tell our little girls that it is better for them to be tomboys, because there is nothing positive associated with femininity. Being a female is about being catty, talking about irrelevant stuff, being attention seeking and dramatic.

Maybe, this is just me, but I find both ends very extreme and neither of them accurate. 

I would like to tell my daughter that cooking, cleaning or doing things for people is a natural extension of caring for the ones you love. I would like to tell her that she can be modern, progressive, independent and yet do these old-fashioned things. It is not some kind of oxymoron. 

As someone who had a job previously and has chosen to stay at home with the kids now, I would like to tell her that neither role should be belittled. We do what we can, as best as we can, to care for our family and meet our needs. 

I would like to tell her that men work hard too. That, it is okay to nurture them. It builds their self worth and helps the men care for their family better. I would like to tell her that she need not hesitate to get help from men for something she cannot do, even trivial things like opening bottle-caps. It does not make her weak to ask for help.

I'm a woman who has had the privilege of knowing men like my father, husband, father-in-law and brother-in-law who don't feel the need to push their weight around to feel like men. Men who are kind, caring and authentic. 

And, I'm proud to be a woman because of these kind of men and pray that I can do what God designed a woman to do, unashamedly.