Random musings

As you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man wishing he could whisper softly in her ear. While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND and INSULT her, there's a man flirting with her & reminding her how beautiful she is. While you HURT your woman, there's a man wishing he could take her pain away. While you make your woman CRY, there's a ...man wanting to make her smile. This was posted on facebook by someone, and it stayed with me for weeks after it was posted. Women seemed to love this message and most who commented on the facebook status, congratulated the individual on his sensitivity, and on how well he "understood" women. It is certainly understandable that there are relationships in which the woman is subject to domestic violence or abuse. In such cases, a woman may want to leave the man for someone who would appreciate her more. But, the reality of the situation is that in most cases, there are two individuals who are responsible for making or breaking anything. A wo

As we celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday, I spent some time reflecting on the past year. I'm grateful to God for the blessings that we have received as a family, how He has led and guided us even when we didn't know what we were doing. I spent a good part of Daniel's first year trying to be a perfect mother. I read every child rearing book that I could find. I was on Mommy message boards, listening and chatting with people. The more I tried, the more I realized that certain things were not going as planned. Advice didn't work, and my common sense certainly didn't. I'm thankful that God taught me that I couldn't be a perfect mother. I thank God that He taught me that I could bend myself over backwards, and still find no answers to my little problems. I thank God that He made me realize that when I rely more on my human capacity, I rely less on God's wisdom. Left with no solutions at hand, sometimes, I would just mumble, Help me Jesus, I really don't kn

This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24 Much about our joy, is based on how we receive God's blessings. The more I think about it, the more I find that we sometimes struggle with being able to receive. Even in my day to day life, if someone were to give me a compliment, my first reaction is to brush it off. Or pretend that the person is not saying something nice to me. I also tend to say something supposedly funny to negate what the other person says. For a long time, I assumed that I was being modest in doing that. But, on the contrary, I find that it takes more grace and humility to accept a compliment than it does to reject it. By accepting a genuine compliment, with a simple smile or thank you, makes the giver feel like he/she has said something of value to us. By not accepting it, we are essentially telling ourselves and others that "You don't know what you're talking about, because you don't know the whole pictu

Every once in a while, I get the itch. The itch that says, "what are you doing with your life?". "Don't you have better things to accomplish than sit at home and take care of a child?" "What if, you are stuck doing this for the rest of your life?". Staying at home to take care of my little one was never an easy decision for me. But, at those moments, I hear a gentle voice reminding me of the blessing and privilege to be a parent - and a mother. I have heard someone say, "There is no greater place of ministry, position or power than that of a mother". It is true that as a mother, I have been put in a capacity to influence, nurture and mold my child. I spent some time, thinking about what God would expect out of me as a parent. A heart that has a passion for teaching God's word A woman who in her own heart has a deep and abiding passion for God's word can try to instill the same in her children. God's word has value for salvation a

We are studying John, at the bible study fellowship. Notes from the lectures - John 18:1-27 1) Do you like to be in control? Our thoughts, emotions, future, day to day events in our life, including parenting, work, relationships. We cannot control anything. Even things that we thought were achieved by our merit, has been purely God's grace. God is in control of every situation. It's only when we lean to draw on God's strength, can we truely give up control. 2) How did Judas betray Jesus for some money? We do that all the time, by clinging to worldly things, by sideling God and not making him a priority. 3) Jesus was not a helpless, defeated victim. He gave up his life being in complete control, because of his father's will. When we commit to God, he protects you. (I have not lost a single one of those you gave me). 4) We have to surrender to be in control by Jesus. Else, we are controlled by sin. Admit the bondage of sin. Do not downplay it, justify it, or wish it away.

When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I am saved" I'm whispering "I get lost!" "That is why I chose this way." When I say..."I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need someone to be my guide. When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on. When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and cannot ever pay the debt. When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are too visible but God believes I'm worth it. When I say..."I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain I have my share of heartaches which is why I seek His name. When I say..."I am a Christian" I do not wish to judge. I have no authority. I only know I'm loved.

One of my biggest fears as a parent is making mistakes. I fear that my mistakes will make me a failure as a parent. I fear that Daniel will face the consequences of my bad choices. I fear that he will pick up on my insecurities, and adopt them. He is barely 17 months old, and I'm already addressing doubts in my mind as in "what if, such and such happens or what if I had done something differently". I look at the world around me, and sometimes shudder at how all of that would affect his spirit and soul. Our prayer for him is that, he should be a pillar of truth and integrity. That, he should cling to God, no matter what the situation or circumstance. Most importantly, our prayer is that he should know God at a young age. As far as my abilities as a parent, I can already see so much about me that needs to change, before I can even influence him in any positive way. I hope that I'll have the honesty to admit my failures, and still encourage him to not make the same mista

Every once in a while, I think about the past. Moments of quiet desperation leading to months and years with no answers. I remember all too clearly where I came from. I do not doubt the presence of a creator. Not with everything we have been through. I believe in the power of the One who has to break and change me. I believe in the heart of the One who weeps for us, and delivers us when we are downcast and defeated. I found these lines, i had scribbled in a notebook years ago. It brings back memories. I carry my song with a heavy heart, A tale of two strangers who would never part. Promises of spending a lifetime together, A lifetime of hopes and dreams built forever. Drag myself out of my stupor, Tell myself to hope in vain, How long can I? Wake up each day to unanswered prayers, Weep, still not complete. I tell myself to perfect my smile, Stare back at the world through glazed brown eyes. Wake up and it's the same old day, Maybe tommorrow the bird will sing a different song. Some

Anyone who has been to Bombay either loves or hates the place. It is always buzzing with activity. Never a dull moment. People are always doing something or going somewhere. There's so much noise, traffic and pollution. And admist all that chaos, the city still functions and thrives. I remember when I first came to the US, everything seemed so quiet and orderly. I really wanted noise. I would switch on the TV, and it would be turned on the whole day. It really didn't matter what was going on. It just needed to be ON. Something about quietness is unnerving. No one likes that awkward silence. On rare occassions, when I can wake up early in the morning and Daniel is still sleeping, our house is almost eerily quiet. As I gaze at our backyard, I can hear the sweet sound of birds chirping. I feel the gentle breeze and the soft rays of the early morning sun. Isn't that how God intended things to be? God is many a times found in the quiet and serene resting places, contrary to most

There are many things that I find endearing about my husband. His ready smile, his sensitive spirit, his love for family and others, and most importantly his relationship with God. I've never seen a man, or in fact anyone who speaks about their own failures as openly as he does. At first, I was taken aback when I heard him talk about himself. I wondered if he had a poor self image. I wondered if he was unhappy with himself. I wondered if he was a lost, little boy. I wouldn't ever dream of speaking badly about myself. I don't like it when others speak badly about me either. I hold my cards very close to my heart. I wouldn't take a single negative comment about myself, without first getting defensive. But, my husband marches to a different tune. It took me quite a while, to realize that only someone whose identity and sense of worth is from God can be so secure in their own failures. Only someone who doesn't think highly of themselves can genuinely relate and see good

I was reading an article that spoke about how only 2% women consider themselves beautiful. This survey also asked women if they were satisfied with their body/appearance. And only a handful of women answered yes to that question. This is not surprising to me. Growing up, I always thought of myself as an awkward teenager and that image stuck with me for a long time. I was never comfortable in my own skin, and didn't really view myself as beautiful or pretty. We live in a culture that is saturated with images of perfect bodies and flawless faces. How can a woman even convince herself that her beauty is not defined by a number on a scale, a clothing size, or even skin color? How can she tell herself that her worth is not tied to the sum of her body parts? When a woman has a healthy sense of self worth, she does not look for acknowledgement from the wrong sources. Her identity is not tied to how many boys want to date her or how many women want to look like her. She is able to view dig