Random musings

It is really refreshing to meet people who listen and take a genuine interest in you. People who accept what you do at face value. Where they do not over-analyze or slander. People who are non-judgemental and non-critical. People who like other people. When you meet someone like that, you can't help but want to spend more time with them. It seemed as if in the past few months, God has been trying to tell us something. To be those kind of people. It feels overwhelming to be at the receiving end of someone's judgment or negativity.  Reminds me of how we approach the gospel sometimes. We take a stick and beat someone on the head with the bible. We drive our messages with fear - fear of God's wrath or hell.  While all of that may be true - when the soul is weary, it needs rest. It needs grace, it needs acceptance. If there is any hope that I would have for the New Year, it is just that. To be able to rest my weariness, anxiety and troubles in His arms. That, we wou

Referring to older folks as Uncle and Aunty is actually the Indian way of showing respect. Everyone is part of the family. So, we have aunties, uncles, brothers, sisters, grandpas and grandmas. Any and every one of Indian descent is related that way. It's cute. Sort of.  If you are married, your chances of Aunty-dom has increased two fold. If you have kids, you are pretty much doomed to Aunty-ness for the rest of your life. I don't mind being an Aunty. It makes me feel special.   I guess when the system was originally invented, we had all kind of tags like Ammamma, Achachan, chetan, chayans and so on. Since, the whole thing was getting way too complicated for us, we dropped all the other tags and stuck with the basics!  So, an age difference doesn't automatically qualify someone as an Uncle/Aunty. Like, for example, a 20 year old kid will call me an Aunty, but my 2 year old refers to them as Chechi or Chachan. And, then we have those folks who are in the same a

It wasn't that long ago, but I remember looking at parents with unruly kids or kids who didn't behave in a certain "acceptable" manner and wondering what made the kids act that way. I had an opinion on these parents - about how they failed to discipline their kids or stop bad behavior. But then, I had kids. Slowly but surely, I learned my humbling lessons.  I'm proud of my sweet and loving children and wouldn't want to change them for anything in the world. But, if I expected them to be the epitome of well behaved, exemplary kids, I was sadly mistaken. More likely than not, they would be the ones throwing a tantrum about inane things, having fits about car seats, crying for the silliest reasons, not sharing toys or food with other kids in the same room. Just the other day, when we are sitting for our Sunday school morning session with the other kids, Naomi coolly looks at one of the older kids and calls him " stupid" . One of the parents sit

Hash tags have gained popularity in the web world, with social networking sites like Twitter. Twitter enables users to read and post " tweets ", which are like text messages. These tweets are read and followed by other users who use Twitter. Like most networking sites, including Facebook, Twitter is also about updating friends/the world about the latest and greatest things happening in our lives. It tends to be conversation centered. It's one of those cool things that celebrities do, and they have  a bunch of users hanging on to every word they say. Teenagers also use this quite a bit. Facebook has now introduced hash tags that can be part of statuses, comments and pictures. I guess, like all forms of social networking, this also comes with its' share of good and bad. Like people posting random, pretentious tags like " thisishowedoit ", " suckstobesocool ", " imhotandyouarenot " and what not.  The whole idea behind having

It never ceases to amaze me how little kids live so much in the moment. Every little thing is a celebration. It almost makes me want to put my "grumpus" ways aside, and join in with them.  It was just one of those things I did for the heck of it. I put Naomi in an underwear instead of a diaper. The last time I did that, she peed all over the place, and showed me all the different areas to scrub. I didn't want to repeat my experiment anytime soon, but did it anyway.  It was another one of those days, when I was trying to get my hyper kids to settle down for a nap, and ended up exhausted and fell asleep on the bed instead of them. Naomi woke me up saying, "Mommy, look wet ". I remember thinking to myself, "Oh, great, I forgot about her underwear. I have some cleaning to do" .  To my absolute amazement, she had not only used the little froggy potty we had, she had manged to sit in the right location, and not make her clothes or underwear we

I would be the first to admit that I don't watch American football/NFL. Even the few times I've tried watching, the game doesn't make sense to me. My hubby loves football and I end up watching a little bit here and there.  The first time I actually had some interest in the game was when I saw a man kneeling in the middle of a football field and praying. This man would always be thanking his God, every time he was interviewed. I soon learned that his name was Tebow. At best, he is an average quarterback. His style of playing is erratic. No one knows what to expect from him. When he first started playing, a lot of Christians jumped on the bandwagon and supported him. They expected him to succeed so that they could give God the glory and toot their horn a little bit on how Christians win by relying on God. Quite the opposite happened. His game went from bad to worse. He was tossed unceremoniously from one team to the other. He played a few games, but for most part

Stereotypes are broad generalizations and oversimplified views of people. A thought that may be adopted that specific types of individuals act in certain ways. It may or may not reflect reality. It is disturbing being stereotyped, especially when the stereotypes are negative. We tend to do it all the time, though. After migrating to the US, I was introduced to the word "FOB", which basically means "fresh off the boat". People who have spent most of their time in India and then migrate to the US are referred to as FOBs. Indians who are born and brought up in the US, tend to think that FOBS want to be like them. Some of the assumptions surrounding FOBs are that they tend to pick up American accents, act nerdy or geeky, usually have software/engineering/nursing jobs, probably don't speak English too well, don't listen to English music, don't wear western outfits or don't know how to use makeup. They eat only Indian food. FOBs are somewhat crude

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. - C.S Lewis Perhaps, the most difficult aspect of loving a spouse/partner is to be vulnerable. Especially, when the heart has been broken. Especially, when dreams are not realized. Especially, when expectations are not met. We have layers around the heart, expecting it to keep us safe. We build walls, so no one has the power to hurt. When I think of sacrificial love, I think of Jesus. He was open and vulnerable in his relationships. He gave even when He didn't get anything

There was some research done on using the GPS. The research was about how the constant use of the GPS slows down functioning in certain parts of the brain, causing the person to rely too much on the machine and not use their own sense of direction. But, the GPS is a HUGE blessing for someone like me, who is direction-ally challenged and gets lost easily. Having kids in the backseat of the car and going around in circles is stressful. Not having to worry about the time spent locating a place and having the assurance that the GPS will get us home safely is comforting to me.  The other day, when I was driving around somewhat distracted, I ended up taking a wrong turn and the GPS told me to make  a legal U-turn. I find that God's instruction is somewhat along the same lines. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.  I find comfort in knowing th

Yesterday was Daniel's first day at Pre-K. The little guy has one more year before he transitions to the real world of "School". Right now, he goes to a small christian pre-school with 16 students or so. As he was getting ready for school yesterday, he turns to me indignantly and tells me, "Mummy, I don't like these little kids. I wish they would stop bothering me. I want to play alone. The last time I went to school, the boys didn't let me play in Landry's pink house". I thought that was so funny. That the boys wanted to make sure Daniel made some manly choices, and pink was not one of them. I also found it sweet how he didn't want to be bothered. Innocence. Maybe, that is what is precious about that age. They say what they mean and mean what they say. And, I pray that God protects that innocence for as long as possible.

Sometimes, I catch tidbits of the struggles of children growing up in America. The hard day to day choices they make, the pressure to conform, living under the baggage of being good kids. It wasn't as if living in India was easy. In fact, most kids there don't experience a sheltered environment. They have to grow up becoming independent sooner than later.  Yet, the more I hear about the struggles of kids here, the more I worry. I don't think there is anything that my kids would be exempt from, that they somehow would be superior or not struggle with the poor choices that some of the other children seem to make. I also fear for how the parents are usually the last ones to know about the kid's struggles.  But, in the middle of all this turmoil, one hears stories of hope. We heard about a young girl, who might have made poor choices in the past, but through  it all, emerged as a person growing in truth, faith and wisdom.  What was unique about her understandin

Sometimes, I wonder if God is this huge, giant, teddy bear. Constantly loving, holding us close, forgiving our mistakes and giving us His abundant grace.  But, as surely as I have experienced his grace, I have also experienced His discipline. Sometimes, a gentle correction, sometimes a subtle warning, sometimes a slap in the hand. But, always constant in its presence. His restraint, His love, His discipline.  Heb 12: (NIV) My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our s

Our lives are shaped as profoundly by personality as by gender or race. And, the single most important aspect of personality is where we fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. It influences our choice of friends, our mates, how we make conversation, resolve differences or show love. It affects the careers we choose and whether or not, we succeed at them.  It seems as if our society is geared towards being more understanding and accepting of certain personality traits - and that is projected as an ideal. It is not uncommon to see an introvert who wishes that they were extroverted. It is not uncommon for an introvert to despair about their personality, to view their introversion in a negative light.  Growing up, I would hear comments from people about being quiet, or shy or introverted. Fortunately, my parents never placed those labels on me, but the ones who did, left a deep enough impression for me to think that there was something wrong about being quiet. My husband laughs

As a stay at home mother, I struggle with significance.  Loving and praying for my husband and parenting my children aren't markers of a huge crusade ministry. As I clean the kitchen, make beds, clean dishes, change diapers and stare at my pileloads of laundry, I'm reminded of the lessons of obscurity.  I don't feel sorry for myself. But, I wonder if this is God's purpose and plan for my life.  I'm also reminded that maybe my husband and children would walk away from everything I do because it wouldn't mean as much to them. I also question how my mind and heart disengages from my family from time to time, and I go into my autopilot mode. Surely, the kids don't benefit from a disengaged parent and my husband doesn't benefit from a "just-there" wife. My husband has always known and loved working with children, at church in Sunday school. It is easy to look at him and know that it is his calling, and it is where he is truly the ha

I remember that when I was pregnant with my second child and as soon as we found out that we were going to have a daughter, my husband panicked a little bit. After a few days, he told me that he intends to start working out so that he can beat up all the guys who trouble his daughter. Well, it was endearing. That, as a father he was protective, and thought of his daughter as a jewel that no one could mess around with. It also got me thinking if daughters are that different from sons and if they indeed should be protected to that extent. Being a woman myself, I don't view females as fragile or helpless. I do view them as vulnerable and longing for attachment and emotional bonding from the male species, which makes them susceptible to unwanted situations.  I think that it is possible that they are caught unawares when they deal with boys or men, and may not always know the right way to respond to any situation. But, I also think that like we teach our boys to be respectful o

One of my deepest desires for my children is that they should know God. That, they should be able to experience His love and grow strong in faith. Not because I'm super religious or because it seems like the right thing to do, but because without God, life is meaningless.  I have seen close members in my family, who struggle with accepting God and understanding things related to God. It started in their childhood with the parents who didn't see the value in introducing the child to a church where they were actually taught something. I wish parents would see the importance of teaching children at the right time, or it is sometimes too late. With my 4 and 1/2 year old son, I have found that it is difficult for him to grasp a concept like God. It is not tangible, and since he cannot see it, it's hard to explain. I totally understand that one wouldn't be able to take a bible and bombard a four year old with it.  Yet, when I hear him saying things about God and

If you want to start off your day with opinions, stupid ones specifically, Facebook statuses are the way to go.  Here's one interesting status that a lady posted on facebook.  Got a vagina? Yes? - then you may have an opinion on women's reproductive rights. NO? - Then shut up! She got quite a few female supporters. Uh-huh. Here are a few -  If the guy is pro-life, I respectfully suggest working to reduce war, reduce environmental pollution, improve industrial safety regulation, eliminate guns, etc. Many, many lives are lost needlessly there than via the wombs of unwilling women.  What irks me the most is when regulations are forced on us women - first its contraception, then shutting down clinics, then not permitting Obgyns to have admission rights in hospitals, then limiting morning after pills age limits, then say that legitimate rape is a valid exception.   Men's intolerance to women's reproductive freedom is not just hypocritical but fundament

King David was called a man closest to God's heart. Many of David's prayers - the Psalms are confusing to me. Why is David spewing vengeance and wishing bad things on his enemies? That seems like an anti-thesis of what Christ exemplified, to love one's enemies. To do good to the ones that hurt you. Yet, the Psalms has verses like these - Psalms 58:3-8 Even from birth the wicked go astray;     from the womb they are wayward, spreading lies. Their venom is like the venom of a snake,     like that of a cobra that has stopped its ears, that will not heed the tune of the charmer,     however skillful the enchanter may be. Break the teeth in their mouths, O God;     Lord, tear out the fangs of those lions! Let them vanish like water that flows away;     when they draw the bow, let their arrows fall short. May they be like a slug that melts away as it moves along,     like a stillborn child that never sees the sun. Psalms 55:15 Let death take my enemies b

We tend to use this term loosely, but so much is attached to being a well wisher. I have found that when times are hard, there are many people who would offer sympathy, prayers and help. They feel sorry for you. They reach out and try to make you feel better.  But, a true well wisher rejoices when you do well. They don't compare, secretly envy or give you half- hearted accolades and encouragement. They are out there, with gusto, cheering for you. I have found that these kind of people are rare gems. One would be very blessed and fortunate to have even few of such well wishers in our lives. Sure, we can cheer for people and be happy for them as long as they don't do better than us or seem blessed in areas where we are hurting or feel insecure about. When they have the better houses, better cars, better jobs, children who do well, better marriages - when we don't have any of those things. It's hard to be happy for them. It takes a genuine leap of faith to wi

The past tends to weigh us down. Every once in a while, the sense of having done something irreversible makes us despair. We count the wasted years, the torment of waiting with no answers. Yet, Jesus comes to us lovingly and says, Rise, let us be going (Matthew 26:46). We expect God to come to us with a vision, to give us something supernatural to pull us out. Many a times, He does but on a lot of occasions, His instruction is very simple.  Arise and eat (1 Kings 19:5) . He simply told Elijah to do a very ordinary thing, to get up and eat. To take that initiative against depression. To rely on God's provision to pull him through. If we were never depressed, we would have no capacity for happiness or exaltation.  Jesus knows that in our human mind, we cannot handle anything beyond today. So, He tells us to take it one day at a time. Each day has sufficient worry and trouble of its own. Each day has the capacity to produce immeasurable joy. So, to rest in Him.

Solid, dependable, kind, generous, authentic and honest. He's not someone to overtly express affection or give hugs or kisses or say ' I love you '. Yet, he made me feel special and important, without being expressive.  I haven't heard him complain, even when times were tough. It broke our heart when we finally saw him break down when Mummy died. It's easy to take for granted a parent who is alive, especially when the one who is gone is missed so much. But, our papa is here. And, we need to cherish and love him, for as long as possible. This is the reality my sister and I need to be aware of. I didn't learn of God from Papa. In fact, he was agnostic for most of his life. He would sing Christian songs with Mummy,  and attend church on a few special occasions  Mummy held on to her faith for as long as she lived. But, with Papa, he was a skeptic. I saw him pick up a bible and read it, looking for answers, after mummy died. And he read it quickly, in 8 mon

I wish bringing up kids came with this disclaimer, "Do as I say, don't do as I do"! Unfortunately, just the opposite of it is true. I find myself lecturing Daniel on how not to bite his nails. His poor nails are bitten and there's hardly anything left on it. But, why would he stop? He sees his mommy biting her nails all the time, and she just can't stop either. I tell him to smile and say 'Good Morning' to people he meets. I expect him to play with kids his age, make friends. He doesn't want to do that, and I'm somewhat upset that he won't be polite. But, his mommy does much the same. I would rather dig  a hole and sit in it the whole day, rather than socializing and smiling at random strangers. If my children find me ignoring phone calls, and putting my phone on mute, they are going to find people a nuisance, and learn to do the same. If I choose to splatter my face with makeup or wear inappropriate clothes, my child is going to want

Life, as I know it, is often defined by busyness. Running from one activity to the next. If it's not household chores, it is errands, or taking care of the kids, or entertaining or cooking. Sometimes, I go from day to day, exhausted, weary, and grumpy.  It was as if God was speaking to me, when I find this article by Mary DeMuth in my inbox today about rest. We’re on a sickening treadmill of accomplishments, tasks, busyness, and joylessness. Every year we increase the speed of our lives, all the while wanting to slow down. But society says we can’t, and we blindly follow its speedy advice. We don’t grow when we hurry. We grow when we dare to stop. Michael Yaconelli writes, “Spiritual growth is not running faster, as in more meetings, more Bible studies, and more prayer meetings. Spiritual growth happens when we slow our activity down. If we want to meet Jesus, we can’t do it on the run. If we want to stay on the road of faith, we have to hit the brakes, pull over

With the coming of a New Year, we wish things for ourselves and others. Primarily, success, prosperity, love, joy, peace and blessings.  Found this article by Mary DeMuth in my inbox today and couldn't help thinking, SO true. Failure is a product of this fallen world. It’s part of your story, I’m sure. I know it’s part of mine. Oddly, Jesus seems to LOVE to take our seeming failures and make a feast from them. He takes our brokenness and brings wholeness, if we let Him. And yet, so many of us let failure dictate who we are, let it seep way down deep and taint our joy in today. It doesn’t have to. It doesn’t have that power. Looking back, I can now attest that most of my recent growth was birthed from the time in my life where every day felt like a crushing blow. Have you experienced that? Are you experiencing that right now? Take courage. Failure can bring wisdom. “Failure is the crucible God uses to increase Jesus and decrease us. It’s the venue God uses to increa