Random musings

Whenever a group of people get together, sooner or later the conversation shifts to other people. Other people's lives, their choices, what they did or said or so on.  This kind of talk is usually harmless. Friendship is built based on this kind of small talk. Things like common interests, mutual likes or dislikes. Cliques are also formed this way. Unfortunately, this kind of talk is not always edifying nor useful.  Sometimes, it is downright harmful. We slander or gossip about people without a second thought on how it potentially ruins a person's reputation by spreading meaningless junk. Slander affects how a person is treated not just by the person who is saying it, but also by all those who hear it. Gossip is responsible for damaging relationships and breaking trust. Yet, this is neither acknowledged nor viewed that way. We all need to process things. This kind of processing sometimes involves saying negative things about other people but this is not the same as gossip becau

Lately, I have been thinking that people have been in our lives for a reason , season or a lifetime . Typically, most folks fall in the first two categories. The " lifetime " people are maybe family and a few people here and there.  When Dev taught Sunday school, many of those kids were a huge part of our lives. Dev was heavily invested in them and cared for them, way more than a typical teacher. Gradually, he drifted away from what he used to do and these kids grew up and became adults and moved on with their lives.  Someone once told us that when you invest in these Sunday School kids, they will grow up and be there for your kids. I think this is mostly untrue. These young adults barely even know that my kids exist, let alone being involved in their lives.  Also, this is an unfair burden and expectation to place on them. Firstly, they are trying to figure out their own lives. They don't really have the headspace or inclination to be involved in someone else's kids&#

CS Lewis in one of his books describes " Joy as the serious business of heaven ". Yet, a typical Christian is anything but joyful. There is always this sense of gloom and worry hanging over our shoulders.  We rarely encourage any outward expression of joy in an Indian church service. Mega churches are at the other extreme, where there is almost too much of everything and noise, and then that may be interpreted as joy. There is a solemness, almost insipid way of doing things in a traditional church. Maybe it's just me, but sometimes it feels like going through the motions. Not only do grown ups act this way, kids are expected to do the same.  Kids must be obedient to their parents, the elders and follow all the rules of the church. They must sit in one place, not move or talk or do anything to distract from the church proceedings.  Sometimes, I wonder if we teach our kids to go through the motions as well. It's like we teach them that the church experience is devoid of

  We spend a great deal of our life doing work. Not just work, as in a job but work as in our day to day tasks or to-dos. Especially, as an adult, the things that constitute as work grow exponentially. In a family, there are tasks that a husband does and things a wife does. It differs greatly in each family. Ideally, each individual can do things that they are good at, so it doesn't seem like such a burden. In some families, where the man has a patriarchal mindset, he may consider kitchen duties like cooking or cleaning beneath his dignity. The same can be true for a wife - when she views kitchen duties as inferior. So, there is this struggle and imbalance of power. I enjoy cooking. I grew up in a family where both my parents cooked and were good at it. It is also common in Bombay for neighbors and friends to cook and share tasty treats and recipes with each other.  It's hard to explain this to people who might see me cooking and think I'm slogging away in the kitchen. This