Random musings

We are reaching the end of this weird and eventful year. The tree is up, decorations are out but the festive cheer is absent. 2020 has been a trial for many of us. Some of us have lost loved ones, spent days in the hospital, relationships have fallen apart - friends, loved ones have suffered.   We spent the first part of this year planning our big vacation after 4 years of waiting to visit India. I thought we would visit Papa and spend time in Singapore as well. Instead, all our plans were disrupted and we had to cancel our trip. Papa had very little help during the pandemic. He managed his day to day activities, without the luxury of having his kids nearby, or the option to stay at home and be safe. By God's grace, he stays resilient. We saw this kind of resilience all through the lockdowns and social distancing. Doctors, nurses, healthcare, postal, transportation, sanitation, grocery, essential workers. Many of these workers did their jobs with grace and fortitude.  We watched in

Why do Malayalees always want to add extra characters to a person's name? Anita is not ANITHA. This is totally cringeworthy!  I would much rather be called Ani or Annie.  As if, having multiple kids with matching names like Messy, Busy and Jessy wasn't enough, we also change the spellings randomly. Also, you don't get to call people Uncle and Aunty if they are the same generation as you. If you don't have a real Aunty or Uncle that age, you don't get to have an imaginary Uncle and Aunty. Calling people Uncle and Aunty when they are not old enough to be your Uncle and Aunty is not respectful, it's just lazy. I remember the look of horror on my poor Mummy's face when a lady 2 years younger than her called her Aunty. My sweet Mummy was nice enough to just smile and respond. When in doubt, stick to Chechi, Chachan or Amamma. To break this down, look for an age difference of 15 years and above before calling someone an Uncle or Aunty. I used to think that only AB

We all experience loneliness in varying degrees. Most adults will admit to feeling lonely, sometimes even when surrounded by people, acquaintances or friends. While it is fairly easily to connect through social media, hosting get togethers and parties, it is hard to truly form a genuine connection. Though I’m not the most social person, I am still in contact with my childhood friends from India. My parents would occasionally interact with my friends’ parents but it never occurred to them to interfere with kids’ friendships. This in in stark contrast with the playdate culture we have in America. Here, the kids friendships' depend on the parents’ dynamics. The kids don't even have the luxury of resolving their own conflicts because parents will most likely micromanage that too.  This added to the insular culture in America. Friendships, when they happen can seem superficial. I would count myself fortunate even if I have a few friends who genuinely care about my kids. People who t

To say that 2020 has been crazy is an understatement. It started off with a virus that brought the world to a standstill.  For all our human intelligence and science and medicine or vaccines or whatever else we have to offer -  we stood powerless when confronted with something unknown and of this magnitude. The best we could do was to stay home and wait for this thing to pass, while the scientists and world leaders try and figure this out. When the vision is 20-20, one can see clearly. I wonder if the year 2020 also means that we should start seeing more clearly or at least try. As if the virus wasn't enough, the disregard for human life and dignity whether this is based on race or color of skin or country of origin or legal status.  People treated poorly, their voices unheard, their issues pushed aside as insignificant. We are now aware of this, because information is freely available, via technology (though many do not see value in technology). An average person

Change is a good thing. Especially, when change involves aspects of life, personality or habits that need to change. When there is no change, a person becomes stagnant. It's like doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That is the very definition of insanity.  Unfortunately, change does not come easy. The more spiritual a person is, the more difficult it is for them to accept that there might be something wrong with their way of thinking and behavior.  This person might be the most humble person or someone who doesn't view themselves highly. Even for such a person, it is extremely rare to be open to receiving negative feedback or criticism from someone else. Maybe, at an intrinsic level, we don't view ourselves as bad people.  Maybe, we are too insecure to readily accept blame.  Maybe, our self esteem is so fragile, that any little thing shakes it.  M aybe, we live our lives being very sensitive to how we are perceived.  Maybe