Random musings

There is a lot to be grateful about as I'm slowly easing back to getting used to the workplace, learning and being productive. It's not easy going back to work after a 10 year break.  I wish that I could take credit for how well I managed everything. But, in reality, the whole process has been purely God's grace. Right from the job interview, to the work, to transitioning the kids and managing schedules. I do not have my skill set to rely on, because I'm rusty. Maybe, it's better this way.  For when I'm weak, then He is strong. There is comfort in knowing that God is in control and if He can bring me thus far, He is fully capable of guiding me through the rest of the way. I wonder sometimes, if one can truly succeed without being competitive. I see it all around me - the kids and their school, the sport related activities, work, home, friends and colleagues. Can one truly succeed by just going with the flow?  Do you not know that in a race all t...

We remember Mummy frequently and fondly. It seems like she passed away too soon at the age of 59. But, we are grateful for the time we had with her. The happy memories. Each and every one of them. We celebrated Daniel's 10th birthday recently. We were also reminded that it's been 10 years since Mummy passed away. Yet, the memories we have of her are vibrant. She was truly an unforgettable person, in every sense of the word.  Sometimes, Naomi and Daniel talk about how they have never seen their grandma, and my heart breaks a little bit. I know that she would have adored them.  I remember her as a grandma when my niece was born. My niece was the only one out of all her grand-kids who could actually spend some time with her. Mummy was never a typical " know-it-all " kind of person. She hardly ever dished out advice, though I'm sure that if she did, her advice would have been good. It wasn't even as if she was holding her tongue, or being disapproving...

Every now and then, I hear sermons where there is this great big divide between law and grace. The " grace people " are sometimes viewed as "wishy-washy". As if to say, if you rely too much on grace, you are also saying that you have a license to sin. " Grace people " are also viewed as people who throw the forgiveness card around, because they believe their sins are forgiven, so they think that they can do what they want and get away with it. So, in all such kind of sermons, one is reminded to follow the requirements of the law,  and from  God. You must obey, be moral and be good Christians.  I'm baffled by this kind of thinking. If someone truly has an understanding of grace, they also understand the magnitude of sin, specifically their OWN sin, not someone else's sin. If one does not understand their own sin, one also does not understand grace. They understand some version of God's love and forgiveness but not the extent to why someone...

One would only need to spend a few years at any church to see the word " service " being used. Christian service is something that almost every Christian preacher talks about. Not only the preacher, even the people at church remind each other to serve. I must admit that I get annoyed by the " call for service " emails and reminders that we receive from church. Many a times, they are sent with Bible verses as if to remind people, " See. You must serve. God expects you to do it ".  There's nothing wrong with service. In fact, it is one of the most tangible ways to see love, empathy and compassion in action. Without service, our lives tend to become insular. We and our kids grow up with this notion that the world revolves around us. It is equally true that if the church doesn't find enough people to serve, the few people who do serve get worn out or become self-righteous or both. The church then dies this slow death because no one seems to ca...

I always knew in my mind, that after my kids start going to school fulltime - that I would go back to work.  Now, that it's been 9 years since I stepped in a corporate work environment, the idea of going back to work makes me uneasy - not because I don't want to work but because I feel as if I have lost confidence in my ability and that I don't have the drive to survive in a work environment. Looking back, I don't recognize the girl that stepped out of engineering college. I was ambitious, career minded and driven. Almost like a closet feminist, in a bad way.  Being a female in an engineering field, it always felt like women were in the minority and there were more men to compete with.  I looked down on women who chose to stay at home to look after kids. I thought that they had it easy and that the husband was taking care of the wife because she couldn't take care of herself. One of my first arguments with my husband before we got married was wh...

It is hard to meet a person who likes being wrong, or welcomes instruction. In fact, I do not think I have met anyone who likes being corrected. We have heard of phrases like " eating humble pie ", which implies that the person was wrong and is being forced to be humble about it. It is not surprising that kids don't like being told that they are wrong about something, because we as parents don't like it either.  I am very sensitive to criticism; constructive or otherwise. I would rather do things perfectly than have to listen to how something was wrong or could have been done better. We like to pretend that we know what to do, when in reality - we are all really clueless. The Bible has a lot to say about having a teachable spirit.  Ecclesiastes 4:13 Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice. Most of these verses have been written by Solomon, who was considered a great man of wisdom. Yet, he...

It's been somewhat disheartening to see the condition of the Indian church. Many people have stopped coming to the church for various reasons. So, the small church has become smaller and the few members who have been carrying most of the load for the functioning of the church are losing hope. Admittedly, the church has issues - with trying to cater to the young people, the older people and the ones in-between. Trying to cater to the ones who speak Malayalam or don't, trying to mix the traditional with the contemporary, trying to get speakers to fill in the void for church leadership, trying to fix the unspoken issues among the members or deal with clashing personalities. For such a small group of people, it is ironic that we have so many issues.  We are a church with growing pains. Anytime a change is brought about, there is bound to be resistance. One such area is the music ministry. I've always watched the choir from a distance but over the past year, - I've ...