Random life lessons

I always start off the New Year with resolutions, most of which don't last for more than a few weeks. I recently heard someone talk about the lessons they learned from the previous year, and it seemed like a great form of introspection.

Here are few of my lessons from 2022 -  

1. Don't be an insufferable know-it-all. No matter what encyclopedia of knowledge we have or our life experiences or wisdom, there is always something we DO NOT know. Be humble, teachable and open-minded. There are things to learn from every person, young and old.

2. Don't be an expert on someone else's life - We do not know more about someone's life than they do. So, listening is of more value than judging or giving unnecessary opinions.

3. Not everything that people claim is exciting is going to be enjoyable for you. Whether it's bungee jumping or zip lining or rock climbing or what not, just because the pictures look good doesn't mean it was a great experience for everyone involved. Be okay with being boring, if that floats your boat.

4. Don't inherit someone else's issues. We all have enough issues of our own. We can't be responsible for making someone else happy or take their mood swings personally. Another person's issues are rarely about you. Be caring, but don't try to be their savior.

5. Our bodies will tell us when enough is enough. Poor lifestyle and health choices, lack of rest and sleep will take a toll. There is nothing selfish about prioritizing yourself. Do it for yourself and your loved ones.

6. Our parents need love and support. Just because you are married, does not mean your parents are not important. Especially, as a woman, it is easy to be focused only on our own families, and not find time to give back to the people who did so much for you.

7. Relationships are complicated. especially when negative emotions are involved. It's easier to pretend or stifle. For a long time, I was under the impression that people must be honest with each other, but now, I think that some things are best left unsaid. We might be dumping our baggage on someone who doesn't deserve it.

8. Friends should be well-wishers. We meet all kind of people. In all probability, perfect compatibility is not possible. Friendships that are based on competing, comparing and jealousy are exhausting. Invest in people who want the best for you.

9. Perfection is over-rated. Looking for ideal relationships and keeping high expectations from people will most likely mean that we end up being lonely. People won't meet your expectations just like you don't meet theirs.

10. Live in gratitude. Let gratitude sink in and let it change you.

11. Assume positive intent. This is difficult for me to do especially when my mind is made up about something. Leave a person's true intent for God to fix and assume positive things about them.

12. We do not need to have an opinion about everything. I have yet to meet a person who was changed by someone's opinion. Actions matter more than opinions.

13. If someone asks for an opinion, give them an opinion. I have lived as a diplomatic person all my life, but there are certain things that must be said, so people know where you stand. Especially, if someone is willing to listen to an opinion. Do it out of respect for yourself and the other person.

14. Making someone else feel stupid will not increase our intellect.

15. Live life with integrity and stop playing games. We can get away with a lie, but we have destroyed something of value to ourselves by manipulating.

16. Old age should come with an increased sense of security and lack of feeling the need to be cool or be this-and-that. The "best" old people have aged gracefully.

17. Do not wait for leaders, do it alone. Do not adopt someone else's ideas of charity or service. If you agree with a leader's vision, support them or do what makes sense to you and do it alone.

18. Nature is healing. Everything about nature reflects God's glory. It is humbling standing at the foot of the mountain, or looking at the expanse of the sea, the setting sun, the cascading snow. Spend time outdoors.

19. Acknowledge your feelings, even the negative ones. You cannot heal from something you do not acknowledge.

20. Don't adopt someone else's version of spirituality. Whether this means going to that traditional church that is not open to different views, or a hippie church that everyone likes to judge or this perfecto church. Go to a church that makes sense for you and your family. We don't have to justify our choices. Ultimately, we are responsible for ourselves and the people in our family.

21. Find time for your hobbies. Do it in a non-performing and relaxed way. Things will stop being enjoyable when it is always about performance.

22. Social isolation is real. So is lack of trustworthy relationships, genuine connection, meaning and purpose. It has been the plague of the last two years. We have to start rebuilding somehow, in small, imperfect ways.

23. Don't live life looking at the past. All we have is "from now on". The past has served its purpose, as a treasure of memories and lessons.

24. Express gratitude, to God and also people. No one likes to be taken for granted and it is the least we can do to show we value a person.

25. Don't create imaginary problems for yourself and don't undermine someone else's issues, no matter how trivial they sound to us.

26. Don't try to fix people. Most people just want to be accepted and seen.

27. We want to do the right thing but it is easier said than done. This also means that we shouldn’t hold others to some standard that we ourselves can't achieve.

28. Be kind to yourself. There is nothing humble about being self deprecating. If someone gives you a compliment, accept it.

29. You cannot fix a problem by talking to a person about it, unless both individuals are on board with acknowledging the problem and wanting to address it.

30. God is not distant. Life is empty when His presence is missing.

Here's hoping that 2023 is a  year of new beginnings.